Monday, December 12, 2011

Being. Single. Is. Not. An. Affliction.

Last week sometime, I was driving down a road and ran across a sign that said, "Single?" then proceeded to list a dating service site. I've probably passed this sign and others like it hundreds of times and never thought anything of it. For some reason, on this particular day, this sign really bothered me. I am not bothered by the dating site - I even personally belong to a dating site and think they are a great tool to meet people with whom you might otherwise not cross paths.

The issue I had with this sign was the question it posed, "Single?" The sign then proceeded to list the site as though it was some solution to a significant problem in people's lives. Don't get me wrong, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to NOT be single. I think that wanting companionship is very natural and healthy...and having companionship is even great!! I have even gone through bouts where I really just wanted to have that one, "companion." Even presently, I date frequently and I hope one day I can find a companion who shares common goals, encourages me and pushes me further with my own goals.

On the other hand, this sign was STILL  bugging me. The overwhelming message that being single was a huge problem that needed to be fixed baffled me. I enjoy dating. I learn more about myself, about others and I get to meet a variety of new people. I learn how to improve myself but also I learn more about what I am really looking for in a significant other. On the other hand, I am perfectly happy being single and enjoy many of the liberties that come with it. In fact, when I talk to some female friends about dating or even wanting a companion, they state that they wished they were single sometimes!

What would any blog about single ladies be without Beyonce?!?!

As I said, I do go on dates. According to some of my friends' opinion, too many of them. I've heard everything under the sun, "You have more first dates than anyone I've known," "Maybe you are too picky," "Perhaps you are picking the wrong types of guys," and EVEN "You have too high of expectations." I contemplate all of these suggestions and I can't seem to agree. I date men of all types, races, professions, and am completely open-minded in going on dates. I hardly ever eliminate someone after just one date unless it's absolutely horrible. In pondering further, I always arrive to the same conclusions; Should I not be picky when it comes to dating someone who will ultimately take time away from my loved ones? Should I not have expectations about how I deserve to be treated as a woman? Should I not want to have at least SOME common interests and goals as someone I may date? It seems to me, that I should have all of these things. Not only that, I deserve them.

So, what's the big deal? What is SO wrong with being single? Being single affords me so many great opportunities! I have flexibility in my schedule and the satisfaction of knowing that I am a strong woman who can make it on her own if need be.  Additionally, I get the opportunity to learn so much MORE about myself and my strength and weaknesses. Yes, I can also learn more about myself as a woman in couple, which I hope to learn more of someday. But meanwhile, what is so awful about being single? Why does everyone else who isn't single feel so empathetic towards you and like you are a problem waiting to be solved? Couldn't it just be that I simply haven't yet crossed paths with an adequate match at an adequate time? I think that is probably just right. :)

My singleness isn't a problem that needs to be solved. It's not a state that will be forever permanent and not even one that I permanently trap myself into. I love dating and the possibility of meeting that special someone. Yet I don't feel the need to be in a relationship just to be in one. If I am going to be in one, I want it to be with someone who is great, who makes the sacrifice of time away from my loved ones worth it. Ultimately, I love being happy being me. With or without companion. Single. Without the question mark. 

No comments:

Post a Comment